Building Rapport: First Impressions Matter!

Do me a favor and think about the last time you walked away from your first conversation with somebody and said to yourself, “I really enjoyed meeting them!” What you did together was create good rapport. I’ve said before, and will continue to at length, that people buy from people that they like, and people like people that build good rapport. Rapport is a feeling of mutual trust, respect, and liking. It is essential for building strong relationships, whether in business or personal life. When you have rapport with someone, you are more likely to be able to communicate effectively, collaborate, and influence each other. In lots of ways, rapport building skills are not just for sales calls, but are essential for making new connections in general. So let’s learn together how we can improve our rapport building skills.

Any sales coaching materials will tell you that there are many ways to build rapport (there are) and will outline a few themes that make for successful rapport building; these are the three that I would consider non-negotiables:

Be authentic and genuine

Authenticity is at the core of building rapport; you can’t build it without being yourself and letting your true personality shine through. So, show a sincere interest in others and approach conversations with an open mind and you’ll create a sense of trust and comfort. By being authentic, you create an environment where meaningful connections can flourish. Remember, people can spot a fake a mile away, so be yourself and let your personality shine through. You can start with something as small as a hobby that you’re passionate about, because once you start talking about why you enjoy it, it’ll be impossible to hide your true personality.

Listen and find common ground

Listening actively is a fundamental skill for building rapport and is one that you can’t fake either. Give your undivided attention to the person you’re engaging with, maintaining eye contact and giving them your undivided attention. It should go without saying, but show genuine interest in what they have to say, and avoid interrupting or rushing the conversation, looking for ways to relate to them. Take this further and ask follow-up questions to demonstrate that you are actively engaged and seeking to understand their perspective. By listening actively, you validate the other person’s thoughts and feelings, making them feel valued and understood and there’s a good chance that in that you’ll find a shared experience to build on. I can’t emphasize enough the fact that everyone is more likely to trust and buy from someone that can relate to them, even if its in a small way.

Be positive and friendly

Hopefully, as a salesperson, your authentic and genuine self is naturally positive and friendly, but even if it isn’t, know that people tend to emulate the energy, or lack thereof, that they’re receiving from the other person. I often heard growing up to “fake it until you make it” and I think that, to an extent, this can be valuable advice. If you’re not having the best week when you meet with a new prospect, do your best to come across as positive as you can. The more you can liven up a conversation, the more everyone will enjoy it and, as we know, we’re not going to get anybody to buy from us if they associate us as salespeople with a negative feeling. One thing that always works for me is making a joke, sometimes even if at my own expense. I’ve found that laughter is the best way to ease any nerves or tension in a conversation with someone new, so even if it’s one of those terrible dad jokes, throw it out there so everyone relaxes a bit.

With those three themes in mind, let’s take this a step further and put our rapport building skills to the test. The first rule of sales is to listen more than you talk, and in order to do so we must ask questions. Here are some questions that I think you can ask anyone to get them talking about themselves and will set up a slew of follow-up questions you can ask to learn more about them.

• How long have you been at your company? Why have you stayed so long?
• Have you lived in your city for very long? What do you suggest someone does if they visit for a weekend?
• A mutual connection of ours told me that you’re interested in a hobby, how’d that come to be?
• What projects are you working on right now that really excite you?
• Is there something that you’re passionate about that really surprise people? (Share something about yourself if you ask this question!)
• What’s one event that, if they televised it, you would clear your schedule to watch?

All of these questions have something in common; they’re all rooted in positivity. These personal questions get people talking about the things that they like so that, before you know it, they’ll be associating positive things with you and your solution! You’ll also notice that these questions ask about things that will be progressing as your sales conversation progresses, so you can continue to refer back to the things you’ve learned about a person in your follow-up conversations, always making sure you start on a positive note.

I challenge you to try out these strategies, and create some of your own, because by being authentic, practicing active listening, finding common ground and following up on the things you’ve learned, you can create strong and lasting rapport that will impact your entire sales cycle. Remember that building rapport takes time and effort, but the benefits of strong connections are invaluable. Embrace the opportunity to build rapport and watch as it enhances your personal and professional relationships.