Impress Others with Admiration

In the delicate dynamic of human interaction, the quest for influence is often met with the realities and effects of pride and humility. At the heart of this dynamic lies a fundamental truth: pride, when unchecked, can morph into a guise of selfishness, hindering genuine connection and blocking the pathways of influence. I’ve found, as many others have, that after enough time in sales, a simple yet profound principle emerges: if one seeks to wield influence over others, the path to success may not lie in self-aggrandizement, but rather in genuine admiration and appreciation for those around us. I feel that this notion challenges conventional wisdom, advocating for a shift in perspective – one that views pride as a potential barrier to success and humility as a catalyst for meaningful influence. By studying the intricacies of human psychology and social dynamics, we uncover a compelling argument that is if you aspire to sway hearts and minds, it is not through flaunting your own accomplishments, but by sincerely valuing and being impressed by the strengths and contributions of others. In this blog, we’re going to dive into the rationale behind this proposition, exploring how humility can serve as a potent tool in the arsenal of influence, while pride, left unchecked, may ultimately prove to be its own undoing.

The statement “If you want to influence others, be impressed by them, don’t try to impress them” suggests a subtle yet powerful approach to interpersonal relationships and influence. This perspective is rooted in the idea that genuine admiration and appreciation for others can be more persuasive and impactful than attempting to showcase one’s own achievements or qualities. Let’s dive into what this perspective can accomplish for you.

Builds Genuine Connections

Demonstrating genuine interest in others is truly the most effective way to foster authentic connections. When you express admiration for someone’s achievements, skills, or perspectives, it creates a bond based on mutual respect – buyers will build trust in you if they feel they aren’t having their ego pumped by someone after short-term gains. Likewise, people are more likely to be receptive to influence when they feel a sincere connection with someone who values and appreciates them.

Fosters Trust and Rapport

Like I said earlier, being impressed by others builds trust – in my experience, sometimes better than just telling the whole truth. It sends a message that you’re not solely focused on your agenda but are genuinely interested in understanding and acknowledging the strengths of those around you. Trust is a crucial foundation for influence, as we know, and buyers are more likely to follow or accept guidance from someone they trust.

Taps into Intrinsic Motivation

When you express admiration for someone, you tap into their intrinsic motivation. People are naturally driven to excel when they feel their efforts are recognized and appreciated. Think inward for a second, are you motivated by a manager who recognizes and appreciates your hard work? I know I am! By acknowledging their achievements, you can inspire them to continue their positive actions, creating a conducive environment for influence.

Reduces Defensive Reactions

Trying to impress others can sometimes trigger defensive reactions, as people may perceive it as self-promotion or manipulation. On the contrary, being genuinely impressed by someone tends to lower defenses. When a buyer recognizes your admiration, their natural tendency will be to open up in hopes that they’ll continue impressing you. I equate this to Newton’s law of inertia: this behavior in motion tends to stay in motion. It then creates a positive and open atmosphere, making it easier to convey your ideas or suggestions without encountering resistance.

Demonstrates Humility

Expressing admiration for others reflects humility. It shows that you’re secure enough to recognize and appreciate the strengths of those around you. On the flip side, it shows that you’re mature enough to not feel the need to one-up others around you with your own successes and strengths. Humility is an attractive quality that can make people more willing to listen to your perspective and be influenced by your ideas.

Encourages Reciprocity

When you appreciate others, there’s a natural tendency for them to reciprocate. People are inclined to support and be influenced by those who have shown them respect and admiration. This reciprocal dynamic can create a positive cycle of influence, where mutual respect becomes the foundation for collaborative efforts.

If I haven’t yet sold you on the idea that being impressed by others rather than trying to impress them is an effective strategy for influencing your buyers, I then challenge you to think about the friends you surround yourself with. Do you choose to spend your time with a group of people who sit around and brag about themselves all day, or do you choose to spend your time with people who want to hear about how you’re doing, growing, and succeeding? For your mental health’s sake, I hope it’s the latter. If you’re like me and that’s the case, then you likely understand these ideas deeply and have seen how it establishes genuine connections, builds trust, taps into intrinsic motivation, reduces defensiveness, demonstrates humility, and encourages reciprocity – all of which are essential elements in the art of influence. If that’s not the case, take these ideas into your next sales call and see how showing appreciation can quickly aid in your sales process.